Hikikomori
A so-called psychological cultural disease, mainly present in Japanese culture, where a young person snaps under pressure and becomes socially and physically withdrawn into their household, often for years. Because of the social stigma and the assumption that the person's family are the right people to handle the situation, how many cases actually exist is uncertain.
Hikikomori is a issue to some people. Basically I want to write this because I am very interested in Hikikomori. While I do prefer staying indoors I do go outside and hang out with friends, I wouldn't consider myself one. So what do you think of when you hear Hikikomori? Do you think being Hikikomori is a good or bad thing? And to those who are one, are you happy being a Hikikomori? Personally I tend to look down on Hikikomori, because of what I have read about them. It seems like people would describe them as "no good to society".
Another source of pressure is from their co-students, who may harass and bully (ijime) some students for a variety of reasons, including physical appearance (especially if they are overweight or have severe acne problems), wealth, educational or athletic performance. Some have been punished for bullying or truancy, bringing shame to their families
I can understand the pressure and harassment aspect to this. Issues like acne or being overweight are very common, but what I can't understand is sitting in a room all your life isn't going to help those issues. Some people would actually consider hikikomori to be hoarders. Do you think that too?
Hikikomori tend to be financially supported by their parents, or by receiving social assistance. They seldom work since jobs usually require socialization.
Is this true? To those Hikikomori out there, are you supported by yourself or someone else?
Once again I do not want to offend anyone out there. I just want to collect information and opinions from people about the subject of Hikikomori. It's an interesting problem to me. I myself do not wish to become one because I have other plans to do in life.
Hikkis are a Japanese phenomena. 99% of so-called hikikomori in the English-speaking world are mislabeled. American parents just won't have it, and don't seem to have any problem kicking their kids out of the house if they don't pull their weight. I can't really speak for Europe at all. All the hikkis I've met are either lying or spoiled rich kids who are doing it because either way their trust fund checks are getting cashed.
I rarely go outside(exept for school which i am force to go outside).I think people just want to stay indoors.Hikikomori is a BAD thing.
If you are still going outside willingly even if it's for school then you are not one.
Your avatar fits this topic perfectly ^_^.
Hikkikomori by appearance is very unwelcoming. No one would want to see a business card where their profession is: "Stay at home and look at VN's or Video Games". Comparing to a society where competition grows constantly, hikkikomori's affiliation to this growth is little to zero. However, poor etiquette aside, they do help support the economy as they are actively making purchases for the survival of their supporting merchandise companies.
Given the opportunity to deter away from the life of a hikkikomori, I would favour to be away from their life style as much as possible. The way of living is too extreme and given the knowledge that I have, I would rather go outside in the world of the unknown than stay alone in a little corner and isolate themselves from those who do wish to continue socializing with the hikkikomori.
"Comparing to a society where competition grows constantly, hikkikomori's affiliation to this growth is little to zero."
An excellent point, by the time they realize how much time they "wasted" by making no progression in their life only makes it harder for them to step out and break the chain.
There is nothing positive about being socially withdrawn, unable to adapt and be self-sufficient.
At least ALL hikikomori people start off as one because they have financial backing in first place assuming they didn't have preexisting condition which prevented them from socially active.
I enjoy spending time in my room, but I could never go that far. I need to get out and do something outside once in a while or else I feel like the day was wasted. I also have work and school, so yeah.
LOL. I don't understand the need for a poll. the answer from any sane person will always be a resounding NO. then again, it's an insane world we live in.
I unfortunately admit I am a hikikomori. Not that I enjoy being one, but I will have the guts to admit it. My case however, is a bit unusual. I was bullied horribly in school to the point of nearly killing myself several times, but it was soon discovered I had a form of autism that makes socializing in public awkward, icky feeling, and sometimes painful to do. I never even learned to drive because of the stress that put on me! I am incapable of living on my own because I can get stressed and confused easily with daily tasks, and my anxiety levels just go through the roof on some tasks.
I've had many therapists try to help me, and I learned to socialize a little. I go to Doll Meets and visit some neighbors, but inside when I do these things I just feel like running or panicking. I constantly ask if I am coming off as "odd or strange", because my autism will make me talk for hours on a certain subject unless someone nudges me to talk about something else. And even when nudge, I feel ashamed and embarrassed.
It is odd. I can communicate well online, but when I do, I just see words and not people. When I am around actual people... that is when I feel bad. And so... I end my rant about being a hikikomori... but I do agree, it's not a very healthy lifestyle.
I have a mild form of Aspergers, so I can relate to that. I've had trouble socialising myself. That said, I'm a lot better than I how used to be. Back when I was younger, I was extremely quiet. When people talked to me, I usually only gave one word answers because I was so shy. Nowadays, while I'm still fairly quiet, I feel more comfortable talking to people. I find it gets easier when I've been around certain people for a decent amount of time. Like you, I find it a lot easier talking online than in 'real-life'.
^^; That is actually what I have... I have Aspergers Syndrome. Even though I am a little better, I still have feelings of my skin crawling in huge crowds and being completely self conscious. It's okay around people I know, but back around people I don't know.
"mainly present in Japanese culture"?
Although the definition did originate from Japan it's a bit of an overstatement to say that^^；
I don't know what they call it in your neck of woods but hikikomoris can be found in any parts of the world. Japan just happens to have television shows or other sorts of media that picks and nicks on the subject more often and that's probably the reason why people seem to have that impression.
Since you're interested in the subject you should look up for 準ひきこもり (jyun-hikikomori) as well. The grey zone a lot of people myself included are in.
agreed, down here they are called a different term but still the same sort of scum xD
Whenever I see or hear the word 'Hikikomori', I instantly think of "Welcome to the NHK!". That show introduced them to me. While the show featured a lot of humour, I think it portrayed the lifestyle pretty well. I've since seen a documentary or two about them.
For reasons I mentioned in a previous post here, I can sympathise with them. The outside world can be a scary place if you don't know how to deal with it. I think the problem may be that they're not getting enough help. I'll admit that I used to have trouble travelling anywhere by myself, but thanks to some help, it isn't a problem for me anymore (I tested that to the extreme by going on a train from Bangor, North Wales to Basingstoke. Despite some hiccups, I kept my cool and all went well). I think if they were given a bit more understanding, they'd slowly be able to get used to the idea of going outside and eventually land a job or find a purpose in life.
Some of our modern technologies facilitate this sort of behavior... imagine being Hikko in the 19th century with no internet, videogames, etc. (Note - not stating these things are causes, they just make the illness "synergetically" worse)
Having said that, I think everyone needs alone time, it just can't be 99.9% of the time. You cannot shield yourself from the world, because you are part of it.
While I don't think being one is a good thing but I do like the fact of being able to hide away for a while like one.
I think I like the way they know how to lock themselves away from the outside world. I would really like to be able to do that for a while with all the stress of working life. But I wouldn't want to do it indefinitely. Too boring....
Although I do not like the situation, I do think that government can make these people productive. Giving them training on works that can be done alone inside the room, such as typing, crafting, online consultation (means the hikis gives advice on things that they know to customers), designs like architecture, and other stuffs. As long as they have certification of qualification to do those things, they should not have any problem on dealing with people online.
This applies to ninety percent of the cases .. not ones where there is a valid and definate medical reason for the behavior (As in Deadly Gambit's case "Don't worry babs! this don't apply to you")
I honestly believe, that as I said.. ninety percent of these cases are.. Whiny little brats who didn't get their way, and honestly believe they are special. Get over it! They need a serious good and solid whuppin! Kick their butts out of the house, let em starve.. Nothing motivates like real good solid hunger. Either that.. Or enroll em in Boot camp! Put em in the military.. let the Drill sergeant sort em out.
I myself, was horribly picked on.. all my life. I didn't crawl in a hole.. I learned those people don't fricken matter, and kept on truckin.. This whole concept is ridiculous.
As I said, there is 10 percent of the cases.. where there is a significant reason, Medically speaking that is forgivable. but the rest.. Screw em.. Mommy and Daddy should beat the hell out of em.
Is there any proof that this applies to ninety percent of the cases?
Please do not state something if you do not have evidence to prove your point.
You have to remember not everyone is like you, if they could keep on going on and dealing with it, they wouldn't be in this position in the first place
I think the parents beating would add more to their problems lol.
Agreed. I would also like to see these studies from which this ninety percent figure comes from.
Sounds more like opinion than fact to me.
The ninety percent comes from my own opinion.. Not any case studies.. this isn't a Pyschology seminar. Yes, this is an opinion. And its one I firmly believe in. You want medical facts go look it up on ya'lls time.. Not mine. If you wanna crawl in a hole, and hide away from the world cause its too rough.. Have at it! but don't be a burden on my tax money.. thats all.
LOL I love how you made up this figure just like "that"
Yes it isn't a psychology seminar but please do not state something that is just a bias opinion lol
You believe in your own opinions that generated from god knows what.
I'm sure the amount of tax you pay towards these people aren't much.
Tsun-chan claims he had experiences that could've led him to become a hikikomori so his opinions have some validity I think^^;
I know^^" but I dislike it when people make these generalisations that aren't true.
unless they have something to back them up with, then I will take their word for it.
Hell boy you want me to verify my backside.. Alright.. I'll verify.
First of all.. i'm 32.. I've beeen made fun of.. at least once a day since.. uhm.. age 8..
Second.. I don't care..
thIrd.. I have friends who ended up in the same boat.. outside the internet.. they aren't social.. at all.. period nada zilch.. not at all..
Fourth, Welfare.. nuff said.
Fifth: My opinion is based on the fact that I've been around long enough to see a lot of bad things.. A LOT OF BAD THINGS.. To name one I've seen a guy mauled by a bull, to name another I've seen more death then you can even come close to imagining.. I'm still out here.. i'm a functioning alcoholic.. but I function..
My method may not be scientific.. but if you got a job.. I dont' care, if you contribute.. I don't care.. if your a fricken useless eater, and leech off society.. Screw you... Do the rest of us a favor. please.
as most people don't know, the word "Get over it" won't work and will only make matters worse
I agree with you 100% Tsun-chan
before talking about such a sensitive issue, why not try and do some research before you talk about "hikikomori"
Although I know you mean no offence, the way you say some things may offend.
The way I have said things, I have said it a way for a reason. Someone
reading this can clearly see my opinion.
but the things you say are baseless, do you have any evidence to prove it?
I'm pretty sure you copied something from wiki lol
What I have said is yes, copied from Wikipedia, due to the short time I had to make this post. (time limits on computer). Now opinions are opinions, keep in mind that these are opinions of mine. Don't take this that seriously. :)
you said you were really interested in hikikomori. If you were, you would would take the time to research and actually write something proper. Seems like you just did this on a whim lol, without a care in the world.
Yes I respect your opinions but the thing is, the things you say are baseless
Yes on a whim, but with genuine interest in the subject. Once again, the things I have said are opinions. Others are taken, yes, from Wikipedia, but are based from articles. Look if you like hikikomori, just say it. Your trying too hard to defend them and this is now getting pointless. And no, you wanna hear it, so I will say it to make you happy. This is not proper. This is a something on figure.fm. Not something in a magazine. I don't care if this is proper. :D
lol, ignorant opinions. Hey, I'm not defending them here, you are just being rude here. I'm just saying that if you don't have any factual information to defend your opinion, then it's pretty much useless. It's just like stereotyping.
I really don't think you understand what I'm saying, ah wells lol.
you say you have genuine interest? and you don't care if this is proper lol.
I have no pity for those that consider themselves hikikomori because they don't like life the way it is outside and don't get their way. I think its a very bad thing, almost reverse of what life is supposed to be?
For the medical cases, To isolate oneself because of social pressure and live in a room alone for years is like going to jail when your the innocent one. Why would you lock yourself up because of what someone else has done to you? Using medical issues is like a crutch as an excuse for being hikki and saying there's nothing you can do about it. Only oneself can change themselves and YOU are in control of your life! Why give into a world that isn't what its supposed to be? All these laws and rules that supposedly make you human just limit you and damage who you are, who you should be. Its time to get up, walk out that door and do something about it!
(now I get personal to all ^^)People can help you accomplish great things, they are human just like you, but for you to understand another person you must understand yourself, what do you really want to do? What are your dreams and why are they your dreams? Do you want to waste away your life sitting in a room knowing that you've done nothing that had an impact on anybody? Do you want to live a life the "world" wants you to live? Or do you want to live YOUR life? You decide...You want freedom? Then grow a pair of wings and jump off the nest
yes, regardless of what people say, they are just words :p
i guess an effective way of a self defense mechanism is being elitist towards people who you think are pointless.of course, being a total holier-than-thou jerk would make you the same level as them xDD
Wrong. words aren't just words. That's like saying sticks are just sticks, yet we can build and use it for many things, they make a difference, no matter what you say.
I'm not offending anybody fyi unlike some people on here, never said I was better then them ether. I'm saying if they don't like the world the way it is outside their room, then go out and change it, fight fire with fire, grab the bull by the horns. Their accomplishing nothing being in the room for years and is somewhat selfish because the more they stay in the room the more poeple become hikki. It takes one man(or women) to change the world, they just got get up and do it.
The above only applies if your last sentence/paragraph was pointed towards me ^^ otherwise sorry for going on guard mode, if was pointed towards me, well I mean what I said ^^ *WISH DANNY WOULD ADD AN EDIT BUTTON ON COMMENTS ><*
I agree with you
Does being broke and not going out because you have no more money to spend make you a Hikikomori ? lol
No, I don't think so. I was in that situation for a while. I still went outside for grocery shopping, and to talk to friends. Because I never saw anyone in person to talk to for days sometimes, I started talking more politely. Maybe I missed people, being in the mix of conversation. I still called up friends just to chat.
i dunno... i might consider myself as one since i'm not sociable IRL. actually, the sight of seeing groups of people makes me want to look away and hide. may due to trauma from past social failures and rejections. i only go out if i have to. like food, work (need money to buy food). and sometimes the unavoidable special occasions such as birthdays and stuff (although i try to avoid it if possible)
I am actually a hikikomori myself and have been for most of my life since
I was homeschooled during middle school and high school. I did, however, recently attend and graduate from college. However, since graduation I have become a hikikomori once more. I do go bicycling for miles at times, but I always go alone. It's the same way for the rest of my life. I usually stay away from people or social environments because I find socialization uninteresting or unnecessary. If there is a question of whether or not I am "useful" to society, I really couldn't care less. Call me shallow or self-centered, but I am more focused on my own well-being than that of others and my current state of mind is of that I would rather disappear than continue living. It may be caused from a immense state of depression or something resulting from it, but I would need to research such things in order to understand it fully. I hope this information has been helpful. To those who "don't believe in american hikikomoris", I am living proof of an American Hikikomori.
nyaha^^ aren't you just being apathetic nyah? :3
agreed. being a hikki regardless of heritage, is still a bad thing. you dont have to be useful to society, but have to be useful enough to yourself ;)
Well, you can know what real hikikomoris are like by watching the anime "Welcome to NHK!". I really enjoyed it and reflects real life.
Good show, it was an eye opener for me. And Yui Makino was in it :D
That show made me want to go outside and stop playing MMOs.
That show wanted me to get a job :P
Hmmm, by reading this I discover I may have a mild form of Aspergers, which iv'e never even heard of. Go figure. (hehehe...) Sounds like a horrid thing to have though. Just how common is it...? (hikikomori, not Aspergers)
well, imo being 100% socially reclused is a bad thing. but then again im sure there are also some cases where people became socially withdrawn cause of the way they were treated by the outside world. which therefore, resulted in them rejecting any form of social contact. so i guess some fault goes to the way societies around the globe are constructed. i think thats when being a HK becomes somehow justified, as opposed to them spoiled children leeching off taxpayers money.
I'm pretty reclusive due to being extremely introverted, but I'm definitely not a hikikomori. I did spend a large portion of my teenage years hiding away in my room instead of socializing though.
I definitely think that being a hikikomori is a bad thing. Even if you don't need much in the way of social interaction in order to be satisfied (which as an introvert I don't) you can't just expect to be able to stay in your room forever. Even if your parents can afford to pay for your living expenses into your twenties and thirties, they can't do that for the rest of your life, and it's going to be hard to get a job if you've been shut away in your room for the last decade or something.
That said, I don't necessarily think that taking the hard line approach with hikikomori is always going to work. You need to strike a balance between being firm with them and being compassionate - too far in one direction and you'll either drive them further into their shell or let them take advantage of you. I imagine a more than a few hikikomori have other underlying problems such as anxiety disorders or depression, and those need to be treated properly because usually people can't just snap out of them. I'd like to see more in the way of prevention as well - working harder at tackling issues like bullying that can drive people into reclusiveness.
My reasons for being stuck at home stem from being unemployed for nine years. If I'd gotten a job out of college the first time, I would have moved out as soon as I could. Was not to be, though. Now, I need a job just to stay alive.
Hmm... I'm from Michigan too (puts up palm and indicates and location :p), I know a lot of people in your situation who graduated around the time I finished my UG (2003). Basically, after the post dot com cooldown followed by 9-11, etc, it was really difficult for new grads in the 1st half of this decade to obtain a job in their field of study.
So a lot of people joined the legion of the "underemployed" working at restaurants, retail, etc. Some eventually broke into finance, IT, engineering, or whatever it is they had originally wanted, but many, even today still live in a "Freeter" lifestyle. The economic recovery that followed and quickly tanked in 2008 was a jobless recovery - especially so for Michigan.
This unfortunate chain of events is truly saddening as it's almost succeeded in underutilizing a whole generation of young people with good degrees and aspirations.
I am not terribly fond of "socializing" for the "sake of socializing", and I do spend a large portion of my time in my room. Having said that, I also strife to be a productive member of the society, I consume a lot but I also produce a lot at the same time. To me, this social phenomenon known as Hikikomori is definitely a sad state of affair because these people only consume and hardly produce anything if at all.
Thats basically what I'm getting at Wolf in my response.. I don't mind people choosing to be anti-social or not go out and hang out just to hang out. Thats fine.. But if your a burden on society, contribute nothing.. then your a useless eater in my opinion. If a person has a job, and is working contributing.. then they aren't a Hikkomori.. I think people are confusing that with just general anti-social behavior.
hikkimoris need role-models to teach them how to go out and do more about life. on the comments above, I agree with them.
Look at it this way, they needed all the love they can get and if they do but it aint enough give em a good slap in the bottom. I meant figuratively.
If you truly care about being a role model to Hikikomories could you please share your capacity to do more about life here? http://hikikomori.createmybb3.com/index.php
I'll be straight with you. I don't intend to spam this site with this link. There are barely no members on my forum.
I'm not looking for a "member count increase".
I found this link via the "Hikikomori" Google Alert and from what I see, I don't think this forum is about hikikomories at all and I don't get how this topic could have even lasted here but I can't help myself.
I'd prefer if there was something I could prove to show you why I'm not a spammer but there isn't since I don't know anything about figures.
My priority is to quote your phrase Hikikomories "need" role-models.
That said, I'm not biased towards either side of helping a Hikikomori go out or helping them in.
I'm not telling you to baby someone who doesn't want to go out and convince or insult him to do so.
Again, my priority is about gathering role models. Role models that isn't just helping hikikomories "go out" but again "do more about life".
I know it's redundant but it's obvious you guys know about something like figures as a hobby. That alone falls into "do more about life" by my standard and I'd like you to share not only that but more of your knowledge, tutorial and capacity because to me it's not about outside or inside.
It's about the freedom to "do more about life".
That said I won't lie to you. I'm a non-Japanese Hikikomori. My forum (free forum I registered actually) has no members that can understand Japanese. I'm saying this so that at least hopefully the mods of this forum understand why I'm desperate to have people sharing their knowledge on even one or two Hikikomories so that if they do truly believe they can do less in life, there'd at least be a role model who will show them how to do more.