How Discovering CJ Lead to my Itasha Project. Part 1

Above is one of the few files I found on a very ancient IDE HDD I came across when I cleaned out my car. I found a lot of pictures that took me back, and after realizing I moved on.. I kinda just.. let go. o.o Reformatted it after I saved like, four things. They were all the first attempts at seriously making walls/sigs. They were for me, and had Saber as the theme. She's my all time favorite character. So yeah. >.>

After I had turned 12, I discovered anime for the second time, Robotech on that Spanish channel, Univision. Haha, and sort of became obsessed. @.@; At the time, I thought it was the first time I discovered it, but my dad mentioned it was the show we used to watch together, and I was all, "Oh yeah! :O" I grew up poor, and in a city that didn't have a library bigger than my house. The only books it had that were about Japan barely mentioned anything regarding it's current culture. I remember going to the new and bigger library that opened everyday to check out everything Japan. The more and more I read. The more interested I became. I used to always recite phrases I'd hear from the two shows, Robotech/Initial D. It sounds dumb, but it made me feel cool. <.< I'd find out some other little things here n' there, and before I knew it, I made it my goal to live n' work there one day.

These are super old. LOL I was still new to the filters, and didn't know how to blend too well. So I stuck to opacitizing everything. >.> Lazyness kept me from bettering myself. I can't believe I thought these were cool. rofl Compared to the my recent Saber sigs I have, these are HORRID. Hahaha.

Endless Possibilities
Through my discovery of anime came the realization of a few other hobbies that became passions of mine. Photoshop, for one. I'm no pro, but I like making sigs/walls for peeps. I still have the first set of sigs I made all those years ago. They were cropped sections of wallpapers. rofl With a tacky message on them. With practice, I got better, and even took on some commissions over @ Gamingforce. The music to shows I'd watch was usually catchy (EuroBeat FTW XD), and found the program FL Studio and made several attempts at making my own or edit already existing trance songs. ...Even though I have no musical knowledge. lol I deleted those. >.>; I should have kept them, actually. They weren't too bad, but my awesome self-esteem then was at ゼロ。 Or man! When I had a drum kit. :D The Offspring & Iron Maiden were what got me into drums. I'd tap beats on my desk at school n' stuff. My dad took notice of me banging on my desk and treating it like it was a drum set, and got my brother and I a starter kit. It was some whack brand, and it sounded LOL, but it was a start. I wasn't that great at it, but I could do little things like simple drum covers of video game music (Sonic, Mega Man, to Crush 40, High And Mighty Color). Sadly, it was also very noisy.. After practicing for a week straight I think, my parents would yell at me for playing on it. I remember saying, "But. You guys got it for us, how are we supposed to play it without making noise? @.@" It got to the point to where neighbors started complaining to my dad. Since he was the manager at the shit hole we lived in (rent free at that), he had no choice but to sort of "forbid" us from playing on it. Was funny, 'cuz he'd yell at us to go and do something, but when I'd jump on the drum kit, he'd throw a fit. ~.~; Unfortunately, we stopped using it, and was eventually sold off. Still though, to think. lol I wouldn't of pursued any of this if it wasn't for anime.

Think that's about enough of the early years. <.<; I also talk too much. lol

Through out the years, I didn't bother to document my life. At one point, all I'd do is take pictures. Almost everyday. Ultimately, being lazy took over my camera, and I eventually stopped. I was about 220 ish lbs in that last pic I took in 2009. My face looks the same now, only I'm 175 lbs. @.@; I just have to mention that I'm doing awesome now, but for the sake of illustrating my point: I posted those pictures along with a brief description to show how I went from being motivated (relatively thin in high school) to letting myself go. Now that I can have them all on here at once, you can't really tell. o.o I guess it's because I always wore black, and a jacket/sweater to cover up the belly. lol

The Calm Before the Storm
Late in to my high school years, I started to develop these bad habits that would later evolve to the point to where they'll come back and bite me. Like almost everyone I knew, I would prioritize gaming/anime over anything else. Mostly school and hygine (teeth, namely). It seemed harmless at the time, you know? Fifth period would come by, Econ teacher would take attendance, 10 minutes of copying notes down, and we (those who didn't have a 6th period like I did) could go home. Of course, instead of staying and get my homework over with like everyone else did, I would take the easy way out and go home to better my rank on PGR2 or flag for an EXP (merit for those who played <.<) burn party on FFXI.

Mean while. A certain friend of mine that I met when I was 12 (or 13 lol) becomes aware of what I've been up to. She always lectured me about how I should always think about my future. Instead of taking her words to heart. I would disable the "show Buddies when I'm idle" feature from AIM to make her think I was actually reading. Rather, absorbing what she would try and drill into my head. I mean >.> I'd always read what she had to say, but, like an idiot, I wouldn't make the attempt to listen. Why? Because being lazy and procrastinating things were easier. "Why bother with homework if I'm passing all of my classes?" "Meh. I'll 'study harder' when I'm in college."

I used to think things like that every time a task that would steer me away from games or my computer popped up. Graduated from high school, and things didn't really change. As far as my habits went, anyway. Through a huge misunderstanding concocted by someone I feel really sorry for.. I temporarily (felt like it was for good when it actually happened) ended up losing contact with the majority of the people I knew. Found out a year or so later that they were all influenced by that certain someone. Someone I once considered a brother, into betraying not just mine, but everyone elses' trust. Turned out he fed them all shovel after shovel full of lies, about me. Don't know what it was I did to deserve his hostility, but at the time, I didn't really care.

What my screen looked like before I loaded more files and actually organized everything. lol Stroke effect on Mirai is there on purpose. Looks like crap on there, but on the print out I want the company to have some room to cut around her. :O

Reunited
Anywho. I end up mending things between everyone once we all heard each others' side of the story. Friend that used to lecture me (still did <.<) a lot ended up confessing her feelings for me, to me. o.o It completely came out of left field. Keep in mind, that the entire time I've known her I had this crush on her. lol (Errr, I liked her, but was distracted by someone that actually liked me. r.r) It was very unreal. I remember saying something along the lines of, "-Laughs to himself in slight disbelief.- You? Like someone like me? Ha! That's a good one." She went from super nervous to saying how stupid she felt for saying such a thing, then proceeded to lecture me (lol) after she realized what I meant to say. "You really need to give yourself more credit, Rafa." she said diligently. So then I felt like the bad guy and apologized. It's like I've mentioned before, I grew up on the chubby side for the majority of me life, so my self-esteem isn't always the best. lol She wouldn't be the first girl I've pissed off from saying things about myself like that though. ~.~; I end up telling her that I've liked her for a while, but never really had the testicular fortitude to tell her out of fear of being rejected. From then on, things kind of picked up between us. :o

I graduated from high school in 2004. Start a relationship with a long time friend in early 2007. So far, I've done absolutely nothing, goal oriented wise. 3 years of being lazy & procrastinating n' counting...

Ignorance is not innocence, but sin.
We would always hang out when we could. She had a full-time job and also went to school full-time. I was employed at Wal-Mart. So seeing each other was hard at first, but we eventually got a routine down for it. We'd always talk, and after about a year and a half, she started asking more personal, in-depth questions. "Hmm. So what happened to 'living and working in Japan someday'? ^^" is the only question, along with the conversation that followed, that I remember very well. "Meh. Things came up." was my usual excuse to that.

"Oh? Like?" Of course, she knew I was making up excuses. Friggin' women. They know EVERYTHING. D: That, and I hear I'm a bad liar. <.< I'd use things that have happened in my past as actual reasons to why I've been sitting on my ass and playing games all day. I was in complete denial at the time, and she was trying to get me to see that sitting around, wishing & hoping, for something to fall on my lap wasn't going to be happening any time soon. Slowly, but surely, my eyes were being exposed to the truth. The more conversations I had with her about what I needed to do to get where I wanted to be.. the more driven I became towards finally starting out on that path.

Around December of 2008. I get the news from the doctor that I have three freaken cysts on my back, and that one of them is a pilonidal cyst, which was the worst of the three. I had Kaiser Permanente as my provider through Wal-mart. After setting up a date for surgery in April, I'm told that the deductible is going to be a thousand dollars. I think, no big deal. I have four months to come up with it. I mean, how hard can that be, right?

Ho boy. From December into early February I realized why "I'm so broke" all the time. Almost all of my money was going into fast food. A bit too late to see something like that, wouldn't you say? -.-; After having said realization, I get a call from Kaiser that night. It turns out my deductible was going to go from one grand, to two thousand bucks. I asked why, "You made a change in your health care policy in early December of last year. This will go into effect June." Smooth move. Then again, I didn't think anything would happen to me, plus I wanted to keep that extra $50 a check.

Desperation
Now I'm faced with an actual problem. Friends/family offered help with loaning me the money, but I refused. So, I resorted to what everyone else was already doing at Wal-Mart (Electronics & Photo were anyway). I took money out of the cash register on 7 occasions. Keep in mind people, I'm not a thief. I wasn't raised to be one, and you have no idea how incredibly horrible I felt every time I did it. I don't know why I thought taking the money was the right thing to do. At the time, my family was going through a financial crunch.. so it's not like I sunk all of my earnings on food. Still though, I knew it was wrong, I just wanted to raise the money on time. >< Last day before I went on medical leave came, and I could tell, with the judgmental looks they'd shoot at me, that management knew it was me that was taking the money from my dept. For some reason, I wasn't questioned until after my surgery. Store manager himself asked if I could walk with him to the front office the day I came back. I already knew what was doing to happen.

I come in, and see every assistant manager there. This bald guy stood out from the bunch. His nametag read "Loss Prevention." He started with, "We can do this the easy way or the hard way Mr. Moreno." I took out my wallet, and pulled out this folded sheet of paper, and handed it to him. "345 dollars..." I muttered under my breath. They all gasped, but it wasn't an OMGHEWASHONEST gasp. More of a, "He's lying" type of tone. Rigt on cue, the dude tells me that the store is missing 11 thousand dollars. Then asked, "Come on. How much did you really take?" I turned, and scolded him. Replied with, "Look. What I'm about to say won't sound too convincing considering the current situation... but I'm not a God damn thief. e.e; I wrote the dates and amounts taken down on that piece of paper for a reason. I was going to put cash back into the register in small increments. If you want to know who's been taking the money. I highly suggest you put more than that one TV you have in the security room, and watch Electronics during this shift." By now I was already in tears. I've never gotten into any legal trouble before, or done anything this extreme. So I was scared, and ashamed of myself, among other things. "I didn't take it just to have extra money in my pockets. I did it because the deductible for my surgery was going to double. I can already tell you don't believe a word I've been saying. So, can we please cut the 'good cop bad cop' thing out already? -.-" A very low toned "Hmm" came out of him, and said he believed me. Then asked what I thought he should do. "If it were me in your position? I'd call the police." At this point, I didn't really care what happened to me. I figured, why not throw the book at me, you know? "But, some how I think that was a rhetorical question." He dismissed that last bit, and reassured me that yes, he did call the cops. Few minutes later.. an officer knocked on the door, and took me away in handcuffs. Every co-worker I walked past had a "He's a nice guy. What'd he do? x.x;;;" look on their faces. I couldn't make eye contact with anybody - I was THAT angry/ashamed at myself.

My mom bailed me out that night. I was, and stayed mad at myself for a quite a while after that day. Served my sentence out: Pay 400 bucks in restitution fees, another 400 in court fees, and like 6 days of work release. It was my first, and trust me, my last offense. So punishment was a slap on the wrist compared to what I thought I was going to get. I knew I let everyone down. I knew my friends lost a lot, if not all, respect for me. Still, I didn't let that stop me from looking for another job. Had a very long, interesting pep talk with my girlfriend. It was thanks to her that I managed to summon up whatever optimism I had left and brought it with me to job interviews. I didn't think getting another job would of been that hard.. boy oh boy did I think wrong. Way. Wrong.

I spent the next several weeks filling out applications every day. Every friggin' employer would deny. It was brutal. They wouldn't tell my why, but I knew the reason.

Celica a few days before I took off to the land of Mormon. You can't really see it, but the paint job was already dying. It had a ton of dirt caked onto it, and the snow just didn't help. Only reason why I got a new clutch was because it needed it. Otherwise I would of gotten more alcohol the night before, I'm sure.

Fateful Night
It's now June of 2009. I've still done nothing. This is the time of my life where things go from downhill, to a free fall. 5 years n' counting...

Despite having a misdemeanor on my record. I couldn't help but think about how this may affect my chances of working abroad.. x.x I tried to stay positive and thought I can always expunge it off. I was talked into finally applying to school. Started the process and was well on my way. Girlfriend wanted to go and celebrate as a result. That evening, we're walking about checking out the shops on a busy street, window shopping. End up doing a lot of walkin' around. I felt weird about having her walking on my left side, exposed to the traffic.. so, I ask if she wanted to switch places.

"Sure. ^^"

Night comes around, when out of the blue this SUV comes barreling down the street.. and hits her. x.x It came from behind, and it wasn't screeching or anything, so it's not like we had a heads up. The moment I watch her hit the air I start bolting towards her with my phone already dialing 9-1-1. When I got to her, she looked pretty dazed. All I could do was ask her over and over if she was okay. I knew she wasn't, duh, but I wanted to keep her talking. She was responsive, but complained that all she can do is barely breathe. The ambulance comes over, and I ride along her side. We get to the hospital with a doctor already waiting to take her. 9 hours later, medical staff, including the doctor, came out to talk to me. They gave a very thorough explanation of what's wrong with her, and that unfortunately, that she wasn't going to make it.

La Sola
...I was desperate, and begged them to save her. They apologized, and the nurse guided me over to her room. "Please sweetheart. Be strong, for her. She can't feel any pain, at least. ><" she said. I show up, and she's wide awake. Hooked up to all these machines. "Hey Rafa. How did I end up in a place like this? o.o;" she asked.. and I explained the accident to her. She asked if I knew anything about her condition. That's when I was suppressing every emotional fiber in my being as hard as I could to show her a straight face as I struggle to come up with a lie to give her. All I could do was give "Uh" and "...Um" responses. She threw a smile up and was all, "Hehe. You were always a horrible liar. XD" So I was all, "Nah! ^^; I was just thinking about something else! The doctor says you'll be fine, provided you can keep your ass planted on the bed for a few days. :O" According to what the doctors told me, she wasn't going to make it past a few hours.. so saying that few days thing seemed like the best lie to throw out. Very long story to that short, one of the last things she ended up saying was more or less burned into the back of my skull:

"I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am around you. Never frown, even when you're sad, because you never know who's falling in love with your smile." At this point I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. They started to creep up. "Don't try too hard, the best things come when you least expect them to. I mean it... stop being so hard on yourself. XD" I kinda chuckled at that. She paused for a second, and asked if I was going to pick up where I left off from (continue with the college process). I was already shedding tears, trying my hardest to keep from bursting, and nodded. "...Yeah." She responded with, "Promise?" "You have my word..." After that, she lit up. Shot another infamous ^^ smile my way, and took in a deep breath, "I know you're hurting Rafa... but, one day. You will move on. You won't believe me now, but you will see. My only hope is that you don't let anyone change your wonderful spirit. Please... don't cry because it's over. Instead, smile, because it happened. ^^" She exhaled very lightly, and just like that.. she went peacefully.

Ignoring An Ominous Feeling
So. Having never experienced a loss like this before. It became very hard for me to follow through with my better judgement. Instead, it was a lot easier to dive into a habit I was best friends with for almost a year.

Naturally, I started getting repo letters from the bank. A few "Final Notice" bills from cell phone provider. It was beginning to feel like I was being backed up into a corner. Yet, I didn't let it get to me. A part of me didn't want to keep looking for a job, but another didn't want to give up. A very close friend of mine offered to loan me money every month, to cover my car & insurance. I'd say after about month 5 of unemployment and filling out job apps. He talked to me about potentially moving in with his girlfriend and give looking for a job a whirl. I felt extremely guilty and just plain wrong from taking his loans every month, so I jumped at the chance. Packed my clothes, TV, deodorant, tooth brush/paste, and I was Utah bound practically over night. Yes.. Utah. Mormon country. <.<;

To sum up my 10 month endeavor there:

It was a successful failure. I moved out. Tried to make it on my own, and had to admit defeat n' come back to the safety net that is my family. I abused the hell out of alcohol in my room. Literally. I got wasted almost every night. I'd always wake up feeling hungover, and would take a shot or two before I took off to work. Headquarters was at my friends house, his family owns a construction business. You don't want to know how hard it was to face my best friend, after all the strings he pulled to get me there in the first place, whenever I'd spend the night and pretend I was peachy. One night. I was in deep sadness, and was already drunk. That I decided to have the bright idea of wanting to kill myself. I get into my car, and get to the liquor store, and bought two more bottles of coconut rum. I held my breath and smiled where I could when I got to the registers, all I cared about was chugging those babies down, and maybe I'd go in my sleep, not feeling a thing. I really don't know how I managed to drive home, but I did.

I remember.. I remember sitting down on my bed, held the bottles in my hands. All I could think about was that memory, "Don't let anyone change your wonderful spirit. ^^" I started to cry, and recall yelling things to myself. "She's dead because of you!" "If you hadn't switched places with her she would be alive!" "Look at you. YOU CAN'T EVEN KEEP A STUPID PROMISE. HAHAHAHA." I kept muttering those type of things under my breath, and the last thought I remember having was, "...Fuck it." I cried harder and sucked down one bottle. Keep in mind folks, this is bottle #3 of Morgan Coconut Rum I've consumed in under two hours. After I chugged the third one, I don't remember the rest of the night. When I woke up, about 18 hours later, my roommate talked to me about what happened. What I said. What I did. Apparently, I cried, and hard. "Why did you take her away from me?" "Why couldn't of it been me?" "She didn't do anything to deserve it!" "It should have been me!" Was all I was saying, over, over, and over. She got me to open up the door, and asked what I was crying over, and why my room stank like it was made out of rubbing alcohol. I was like an open book, and hid (my assumption after I discovered the three bottles under my bed) the bottles before I let her in, and didn't mention my suicide attempt. I was hungover for the rest of that night, and the next day. I just remember thinking, "I can't believe you went through it. What will people think if they knew? Especially when you know killing yourself is the dumbest thing you can ever do... -.-;" Getting the lolno response from employers in the lovely land of "rights to work" was brutal. Whatever motivation I had quickly diminished. That, mixed with losing my girlfriend, I didn't know anything else other than Captain Morgan.

However.

I did fail at trying to take the world on on my own. If anything, I set myself up for it, but.. if I haven't gone through any of what I mentioned. I don't think I would of encountered the following that more or less changed my life:

Day I took measurements of my bonnet and sides of my car. I was so excited. r.r

Inspiration on Demand
Around December of 2009. About a week or two after my alcoholic adventure, I decided it was time I take a giant step back, away from the mirror, and get a good look at myself, to see where I really am in life. That, and I wanted to get the hell away from my room. I remember calling up my mom and dad, and telling them I love them, and if it was okay for me to spend the holidays with them. While visiting them in California, I accidentally encountered Danny's blog while searching for some Saber scans to make a wallpaper for an online comrade from FFXI I still talked to. Think I used "Saber :O" to search, and saw a pic of Danny's Saber DD. Thought it looked cool, plus I instantly recognized her lol, and clicked on it. Saw some pics, and thought, "Whoa. That's pretty cool. :o -Few moments pass by.- Wait a minute. This is that one website I saw last year but couldn't remember the url. <.<;" Went to the home page and just memorized the words "Culture Japan." Also skimmed through a few of his "A Week In Tokyo" posts every now and then all the way through February. What made me actually start reading those articles were the pictures. lol The more I saw, the more nostalgic it made me feel. It made me think about the goals I thought I had abandoned.

Late February rolls around, and I moved back to California. Applied every where within a 50 mile radius for the next few months. I came back with a new attitude. The day I realized how hard I failed in Utah, I set up these new rules for myself. Rules I was starting to get lazy on enforcing.

By now, it's late April, and I was starting to lose faith in myself yet again. It's not like I dove back into those bad habits or anything. It felt like I was trying, trying, and trying.. Getting the "We're sorry, but the position has been filled by convicted sex offenders because embezzlers CAN'T BE TRUSTED D: D: D:" responses (Not what they actually said, but it friggin' felt like it. -.-) were very discouraging.

2010/05/05 shows up, and I think, "Hmm. Exactly one year has passed since I was arrested. Back in California, 24 years old, still living with family, haven't been to school. I'm awesome... -.-;" So, with that happy thought in mind. I hop on Culture Japan, and decide to explore the older posts, and come across the article on how discovering Japan changed Danny's life. That was the first post I read from start, to finish. "Wow. This guy did everything I should be in the middle of doing... o.o;" Right after that thought. Everything became clear. It was freaky. <.< I literally remember thinking, "Hmm. I graduated in 2004, it is now 2010. For six years I've done nothing. e.e; I can't believe I was one of those people that wished, and hoped for shit to happen." Instantly started to think about the things/people I blamed to justify doing nothing. Then thought, "So like. Who exactly has been holding that gun to your head and tell you to be a loser the rest of your life?" "All of the answers are right in front of you. You want to lose weight? Stop eating junk food, and excercise. Start playing DDR again. Something." "You want to keep your car from being repo'd? Get a job. Stop whining. You keep saying you keep trying? Well, try harder." Just kept telling myself all these things I needed to do. I landed a job around late June, and swore to myself, that I would do whatever it takes to get my life rollin'.

Sadly, the job pays minimum wage (8 USD an hour). So once I was beginning to get my car payments stable.. I had to get my appendix removed. Had to take 3 weeks off of work. It was unpaid, so unfortunately I fell behind on the payments again. Took about 2-3 months to get it back to stable. Then my gall bladder decides it wanted to divorce me. Same thing happened like the first time. I spent a good month or so trying to negotiate some sort of payment cycle to pay for the surgeries I've had, but they refused, and when I tried to apply for aid. It turns out 9,000 a year is too much income to qualify. Go figure. After that failed, I decided to stop paying that, and concentrate on keeping my car and move forward. Deal with all that later if it gets in my way of doing something. I hope it won't, but if it does, I'll cut it down to pieces no problemo. r.r

All of 2010 was filled with surgeries and working overtime to get my car payments caught up, to keep the bank from taking it away from me. <.<

Around July, it hit me, "I've been a fan of Danny for some time, and I'm not even registered. >.>; Does my lazyness know no bounds? D:" I had that same thought a day or so after the first one, <.<;, and finally registered. lol

Close up of what I wrote down. Even made a schedule to stick to, to pay for everything and still make Japan early next year.

The Bond
My Toyota Celica was with me since the beginning. It's been through hell and back. Girlfriend was the one that loved placing (by cleverly using tape/wire) figures/figmas on the dashboard and the surface hanging on the lift back trunk to give it some character. Since I was in a deep depression after she passed away, I neglected my poor baby. Literally, I didn't clean it, no maintenance, no clutch change when it needed it, nothing. I feel like getting a new paint job is my way of apologizing for screwing around for a while even after I promised her I would keep going. The itasha was going to originally be of Saber, but after quickly realizing that Danny is actually among the big reasons why I can see clearly now, I decided to make Mirai-chan the theme.

To anyone that actually took the time to read this:

Thank you. You really have no idea how hard it was to tell others about anything that I've gone through. I guess, over time, I began to see the meanings behind these past few years. I never thought I'd be sharing parts of my life out in public like this, lol Looking back, I didn't have it that bad compared to other people. In a very weird way, I'm glad I did. Before, whenever I'd relive the past in my thoughts, I would always end up in tears, and turning bitter. And now? I guess it's the opposite. o.o I look back, and can't help but be overwhelmed with optimism. lol I always think, "Man. I'm so glad I got my act together. Learning Japanese. Meeting some like minded people. ...Via Facebook. ¬¬ -Thinks back to 2006 when he thought social media was the devil.- Ugh. I was such a noob back then. >.>; -Sighs, and nods to himself.- Before you know it. It'll be next year and I'll be in school. Who knows? Maybe I'll land a sweet job over in Japan. Or start my own business.. Can't wait to develop the crappy skills I have... @.@;... -Spaces out, and loses train of thought.-... -Thinks of being back in Mikunopolis.- I love my life, and the future. :O!!!" XD

These past few years. I've been pretty active in a handful of forums, and believe it or not, have actually met some cool like minded people at gatherings (expos mostly. cosplay/dollfie photo shoots even). You never know what can come out of making some new comrades. I don't have a Flickr, or my own blog, yet.

However. :o I do has a Facebook. It is severely lacking in photos, but I don't think I'll get around to hooking up old HDDs ('cuz those have been through the elements. water namely, but still have them.. even though I should toss them in the trash r.r) and see if I can salvage any pictures of commissioned graphic work/old pics. Aside from that, I mostly post news and such on there, but it's also one of the stepping stones I'm using to hopefully wield some sort of an influence out there, on spreading the word about how awesome Japanese Pop Culture is. JOIN THE REVOLUTION! :O

I end this post with some pictures I took to sort of keep record of this. Sadly, I didn't really go picture happy since I've been working a ton of 12 hour days for about as long as I started this project. lol But yeah. I just turned my car into the paint shop today, and in 2 weeks I'll have it back. About 2-3 more weeks after that, the actual itasha process will be complete. So at around.. early December, I'll be posting part two of this project. I promise it won't be a bible, word wise. rofl

I registered, and shortly after joining.. I approached Danny about giving my car the itasha treatment via his FB wall. Not that he'd be a dick about it, but to be really honest with you, I didn't think he would of responded to me at all. He's always busy bringing us the latest news. :O But yeah.. I didn't tell him this long story, because I thought it would of turned him off from letting me use some artwork he didn't have up on his Mirai Itasha post. Like, I thought he would of thought I made that up so he can send me the artwork out of pitty.. or something like that. Anyway. I tell him that there's a reason why I want to do this. That when I was getting closer towards accomplishing this, that I would make a post about it on both Culture Japan and figure.fm. I sent him screenshots of designs up on Photoshop, and e-mails from the company that's gonna do the job. I wanted him to see how serious I was about getting this done, so I thought doing all of that was neccessary.

After about a month of e-mailing, he sends the original PSDs to artwork I asked to use for this.. and holy crap. I was so excited. lol I remember being so ecstatic, that I sat here, in front of my desk, and thought of the progression I was starting to make towards this, and got teary eyed, out of happiness of course. :O

So, I said all of that, to say this:

There were tons of other things that have happened, but I feel those events were what started the chain reaction that lead to discovering Culture Japan. The day I read his itasha post was when I thought of the perfect way to show my respect to the influences that showed me the light. To rectify the time I wasted. To make up for not acting on the promise I made.

I'm 25 years old, and hoping to start college mid next year heading towards a BA in IT w/ Multi Media Design emphasis. I'm also currently self-studying Japanese language 5 days a week for 1-4 hours a day (depends on how many hours I work for the day). I didn't mean to drone on like I did. ^^;; It's just. I'unno. A project like this that looks like a "Hmm. That's cool." one hit wonder means so much more to me. So, I would really like to thank Danny-san for this. He really has no idea how much of the posts I read hit home. I felt that if I at least didn't give the reason behind itarizing my car, that it would of been an insult to Danny, and everything he worked for, everything he sacrificed to get to where he's at, and, of course, it would of been a colossal insult to the lovely Mirai-chan! D:

Part II wil be posted soon. I'll most likely touch base on some things from this post, and talk about the lessons I learned. The things I discovered about myself. Answers I realized are a lot easier to execute than I originally thought.

Screenshot I sent Danny to show I was serious about this project (Nelson and SS Jong are from GenConcepts).

Original measurements.

Next five pics were taken today. Right before I took it to the paint shop.

What the hood/bonnet is gonna look like. As you can see, I borrowed very heavily from here. I'm not that artsy. lol r.r Final color for the car is going to be black. Figured orange (Mirai's dominant colours) on black would be better than a light blue.

This post was re-written on 1/5/2012.

There were some things I originally was going to mention, but didn't out of fear. After running into someone on my way back home from Volks USA on New Years eve. I decided to write this post the way I intended it to be. This person recognized my itarized Celica from this very post (part two actually, but she knew my name from the pictures I posted here I forgot had my name lol). "Excuse me, but is your name Rafael?" I kind of gave her a curious look, and said yes. She instantly had tears in her eyes, and kind of stood there, in front of me. I was all, "Um... is something the matter ma'm? Do you need help? x.x" Really, I wanted to ask why she was crying. lol She was really pretty (I'd say beautiful, but I'd feel bad considering the situation.. but yeah. She was. <.<), and with the vibe she was putting out I was able to feel that this person wasn't a weirdo. This person has been hurt, emotionally.. Still, I stood there, awaiting an answer. Her chin started to quiver. She blinked, and her tears ran down her cheeks as she almost glomped me with a hug. I sort of just... stood there, with my jaw dropped. o.o I instantly knew why she was crying. It hit me, like a ton of bricks. I started to get teary eyed. "She's hurt... x.x" I thought. Afterward, she apologized for ninja'ing a hug like she did, but expressed that that was all she wanted to do if she ever met me in person. One topic lead to another, and it turns out that she had gone through something tragic. ><; She lost her best friend around March of 2011. She was kidnapped overseas and was put through Human trafficking. She was found on the street several weeks after she left.

This was someone she loved, and did everything with. She ended up asking me some questions about my life. What caused me to do what in the events I discussed in this post, namely. I more or less explained everything I wrote on here, but in much more detail. Afterwards, I realized it was dark, and said, "I talk too much. ^^; I'm sorry. ><" Her response, "...You should mention this in your posts. You really are a brave person, and do have a wonderful spirit. ^^ And you are SO not ugly, ANNNND you have a sweet smile. XD" "Well, thanks. You should really get your eyes checked. <.<; I don't know if I should though. Originally, I typed everything out on a text document on my computer, but cut out a lot of things." I responded. So, she was all, "You really should. I know it's something big to ask of you since it's personal, but having a much better understanding of what you've gone through really tells me how great people can really be! NOT that I didn't have an understanding before hand! ><" I realized what time it might of been (I don't have a phone lol well not since 2009), so I apologized for droning on like I did, and asked if she needed a ride home, or somewhere more well lit to wait for a ride. "Oh my God! I get to ride in your CAR! ^^" "I mean! >< I can call my mom to come get me... x.x" Instantly I was all, "Your mom?" She interrupted with calling herself a loser for being 24 and still living with her mom. "I'm gonna be 26 next month and I'm STILL living with my mom. How do you think I feel. D: What I was gonna say was... cool. >.>; And is there a place you want me to take you to meet her? Or is she coming here?" Turns out her mom was drunk, and couldn't come pick her up. The second time she called I overheard her screaming and cursing on the other side. I offered her a ride, and she took it (after I kicked her stubborn wall down <.< with words of kindness of course :O) On my way back home, I couldn't help but feel happy. She was more or less on the starting path of destruction. She was thinking about doing drugs with her crack addict mom for the first time since she lost her best friend. The night she was close to making the decision to go through with it, she read this post, and bookmarked my profile page. She checked in everyday to see if I had posted part II up. She wanted to see pictures of my car with Mirai-chan on it. Her name is Amber, and I did ask if I could mention some of the things we talked about in here, since it's the reason why I re-wrote this post.

Amber, I really hope you stick with your goals. Stay in college. You're almost done! One more year! :O I also hope you create an account on here, and show the world your lovely (Mio and Akira, right? Forgot. ><) musumes!