Haters, and why we need them.

My entire life I've dealt with these type of people. Who hasn't? I've been bullied for almost every little thing. You name it, and I've gotten my ass kicked for it. However, bullies come n' go (lol). Haters, on the other hand, are people that have an impact on your life. I've dealt with many, but a handful of people had an indirect influence on me through out my life.

The first hater was this kid that bullied me in elementary school for many years when I was nine years old. On my first day, after my mom left, he came up to me, and literally said, "I fucking hate China." to my face. I was wearing a shirt I wore with extreme pride that read (please bare with the romaji. the IME input isn't working for some reason -.-), "watashi wa ichiban desu!" So. Having zero "in your face" encounters, I told him that it wasn't Chinese, but that it was Japanese. Next thing you know, I was flat on the floor, crying. lol This guy would follow me around 24/7. He'd follow me home. Trip me while I was walking, the works. I endured it. My parents always try to drill respect for others into me, and to not ever get involved in a fight. So I always ignored him, and took his beatings. Granted, fear played a major role in retaliating, but anyway.

One day. We had show and tell in class. We were given a week notice, and I remember going to the library everyday to check out books, and when I would be on my limit I'd spend hours writing down information about Japan. When it was my turn that day, I was so outspoken and enthusiastic over every word I read from my three page (was considered a lot to me then Hahaha) report! :O My teacher even asked me questions after class. It was so awesome. That is, until Mr. Hate confronted me the next day. "Fuck Japan." "China's gay, just like you." "You're Mexican, and will never be one of them." "You'll never get to live there. You're not smart enough." He'd be beating the hell out of me while shouting this hurtful speech my way.

When I moved onto Middle/High school, I was super quiet, and often hid behind my video games to forget about him. For a while, I'd let people like him depress the hell out of me.

This next guy was insane. I was 19 years old, and working for a medical facility that made catheters that were designed for the heart. I was earning around 16 USD an hour, and worked three 12 hour days, four days every other week. It was pretty awesome. Originally, I was gonna apply to schools with this income. I figured it would of been enough to get me through college.

One day. This guy overheard a conversation I was having with a co-worker, and threw his opinions out to us when no one cared to start with. Co-worker and I were talking about what we want to do for a career. She told me all about how she just got into school, and wanted to major in photography n' some other artsy stuff. That she wanted to ultimately live and work in Japan one day, too. So when it was my turn, I told her all about how I share the same dream. Only instead of photography, that it would have something to do with computers. Building websites, photoshop'ing, etc. When I got to the tools I was using to learn Japanese.. he opens his mouth. He wormed his way over to us, and told us all about how Japan and China are in some conspiracy to over throw the US. ~.~;

By this age, I've gotten used to completely acting like myself (as opposed to being all quiet as a kid) wherever I was. Being blunt when someone like this guy got on my nerves is also something I'm known for. r.r "Dude. No one asked you. :O -Turns back to co-worker.- So anyway..." He'd interrupt and talk mad shit on me for telling him off. He'd get in my face, and threaten me all the time. Of course, I'd be scared shitless. lol Since that day, every friggin' work day after that was torture. I think he realized I wasn't the confrontational type, and took advantage of that. He'd mess with the poor Pontiac, my first car that didn't last long, I had. He'd etch "Japan Sucks", "JAP LOVR", "FUCK U", "FICH EATOR" (think he meant fish eater. educated this guy is lol), and other cute message on my car's already damaged paint.

At first, I would ignore him, and use his threats as motivation to learn more. When he was starting to get worse, like shove me into the walls and writing crap on my car with his keys, I would revert back to my old "don't fight back" self. :x He triggered a lot of bad memories of bullies I dealt with through out the years, and it didn't get any better from there. It got to the point to where I called out a lot. Since I was working for a staffing agency, it didn't take long before they fired me due to attendance.

While that was discouraging. I did manage to find a job at Wal-Mart, and would occasionally study every once in a blue moon. Lazyness, and a few other factors contributed towards temporarily losing my footing on the path that is life.

I eventually got over my funks, and applied the lessons I learned towards moving forward.

Everything was going great. I got my Celica painted, and itarized with Mirai-chan Hotness. :O

Til' I met this new guy at work two weeks ago. He was all tattooed up. Someone ended up quitting from our shift, and was told that I was going to be training his replacement. I think, cool. One afternoon, when I pulled into the parking lot at work, I get out of my car, and noticed this dude I've never seen before. So I figured he was the new guy, right? We make eye contact, and I motion the universal "sup" nod over to him. He instantly shoots me this, "What the fuck is your problem? -.-;" expression. It didn't phaze me and I went on to clock in for the day. I go over to my area to take over for the guy that's getting ready to take off.

My supervisor comes over, with Captain Moron trailing behind, and informs me that he's the new guy, and that it was going to be my job for the next 4 days to get him to manage the machines on his own. "Ha! I'll do it by tomorrow! :O" He laughed, but the other guy just sat there. Staring me down. Super left, and I extended my hand out to him, to shake his hand. "What's up dude. My name's Rafael. o.o;" He looked down at my hand, and shook his head slightly. So, I was all, "You alright? Starin' at my hand like I'm holding a block of C4 or something. >.>;" Usually, when I meet people for the first time, I tend to talk smack on random things to get them to laugh. Apparently, comedy wasn't working with this guy. lol

Off the bat. I ask him if he knew how to drive a fork lift. "I saw your car homie." So, I was all, "o.o; Not what I asked you, but cool! :O" "So anyway man. Hop on this forklift and grab a bag of material. Out there, -points.-, where I showed yah." He puffed out his chest, and said, "Nah dawg. I don't like it when people tell me what to do homie." I think, "Great. Another tough guy. Awesome. e.e;" I responded with, "Well. It's not like you have a choice, dude. You're new. You kind of HAVE to be told what to do. >.> I aint playin' around. Pick that shit up, I'll be right back. :O" I figured I'd show him that he was failing at intimidating me. lol By this time in my life, I've been at rock bottom, and don't really fear haters. If anything, I pitty them, but anywho.

It was kind of like that day in, day out. When he was on his own, he couldn't keep up with the demand of the machines, and was often sent to bail him out. He'd pull out the "I don't need any help dawg" Macho Man responses. "Look dude. I'm not here to pick a fight. I aint here to be your friend. I'm just doing what I was told to do. Which right now, it's to help you get caught up." On this particular day, he was being extra defensive. He'd bitch at me every step of the way. I'd pretty much re-word what I just said, over and over to him, as nicely as I could (since we were in a work environment r.r) of course, to get him to shut the hell up. Once he was caught up. I went back to the production area, and told my supervisor all about the awesome encounters I've had with him since he started working there. Day in, day out. "You're car is stupid dawg." "You can't get a real girl on your car dawg?" "Mang. Why you gotta have that Chinese shit on your small car." He'd go on and on about how stupid I am for having my love for Japan (China, as he'd refer to it) on my car during our breaks. I'd always ignore him. I think that's what pissed him off the most.

He got on my last nerve that day:

Me: Just so you know. It's Japanese. <.<;

Him: What dawg? Is the same shit anyways dawg.

Me: No. It isn't. >.>;

Him: How much you wanna bet homie?

Me: Ey' man. I'm just sayin'. You might as well know what you're rambling about is Japanese, and not Chinese. :o

Him: What dawg? You wanna go down homie?

He got in my face. Literally. The guy was within kissing distance. lol

Me: Look man. I'm not the kind of guy that goes around looking for a fight. Not worth losing my job over.

Him: You sayin' you can take me dawg? Sup dawg, SUP?

He did that retarded "COME AT ME BRO" thrust-upper-body-at-you gesture to get me to flinch, I'm sure. All it did, was get me to fart, smirk, and burp out loud as I was walking away, clearly showing him that he needs to calm down before he gets himself fired. For the record, I'm not that gross in person. I was just being a dick to this guy. lol

As I walk away, I had this ominous feeling creep over me. I shake it off, and head up to the supervisor to explain what had just happened, and recommend that he be fired. He tells me not to worry, and I need not to worry anymore. "Well. I know you're busy man. I can keep training him if you want. It's not like I hate the guy. I treat him like I do everyone else." I meant it, despite the times he got in my face or got an attitude with me I always responded the same way; with a very stern and passive aggressive voice towards him. I'm normally nice, but with people like him. I treat slightly different. lol

I go to lunch, and notice this rip on Mirai, passenger side. I think, "That's odd. I just washed my car this morning, and that wasn't there. e.e;" I inspected the rest of my car, and noticed this hole, that was all the way down to the metal body (through the paint job I paid an arm and three legs for), on driver's side underneath the smaller window. I calmly march back, and he approaches me as I was making my way to my supervisor.

Him: You like the improvements I did to your Chinese bitch dawg?

Me: Why'd you do it?

Him: Because homie. Is like I said dawg, I don't like no one telling me what to do dawg.

Me: Well, it's like I told you, uh, dawg. You're new. How the hell do you expect to do what you were hired to do if you no one tells you how to do it?

Him: I got it back there dawg.

Me: How stupid are you? o.o

Him: SUP DAWG?

He got in my face. All pissed off. You really have no idea how incredibly angry I was at this point. I shelled out a ton of money to get my car painted, and almost another grand on the itasha. I got that done for a very personal reason, and this guy hated what I had so much, that he had to make it look like his crappy rice rocket. e.e; It took every bit of me to keep from launching a verbal onslaught onto him, so I tried to go around him...

Him: Where you going homie?

Me: I'm going to rat your bitch ass out. Excuse me.

So he gets in my way, and shoves me, hard. "Nah dawg." I take a deep breath, and tell him,

Me: Look man. I'm not about to lose my job, over beating up some punk ass wanna be gang banger. o.o;

Him: SUP HOMIE? SWING DAWG, SWING.

Me: Look. I already told you. I'm not as stupid as you. I have a reason to work at this hell hole. I'm not about to go around looking for fights.

Edited:So like. He swings at me. I dodge it, and I disable him temporarily Matrix style. >.>

Later that day. I replayed what had gone down, and thought about what he said regarding my love for Japan. Then it reminded me of Danny's take on haters, and thought I'd share an experience or three of how it's had an impact on me over the years.

The first two guys I talked about made sure that I'd live in fear for having interests outside of their closed minds. The more haters I've dealt with over the years, the more I realized how little power they have over you. If anything, I felt sorry for them.

It feels like all they do is hate you for wanting to do something with your life. Like they don't have anything better to do with their time but to wish the plague on you, and only you. The most recent type of hater I've been dealing with is of the online kind. People that have sent tons of hate mail. It started happening after I posted part 1 on how discovering Danny's blog changed my life. Personally, I didn't think I'd get called a liar for talking about certain events of my life that lead to an amazing epiphany.. since, you know, it's my life and it happened to me? XD

I'd get all sorts of sweet e-mails:

"LOL you should abandon your silly dream dood"

"all fucking japs need to fucking die"

"way to post ur 'life story' like a raging pussy"

"you'll never be as awesome as danny. stop mimicking his dream"

"ur a stupid ideot for posting ur fake ass life story on da internet u'll never do what that fake ass dany ching chong has done"

Stuff like that. I only read the first sentence or two before I auto delete them. I responded to a few. "lol" would be my typical response. I'd get back another bible long "I hate you for being awesome" message, and I'd be all, "Man. How does it feel to waste whatever time you spent angrily typing away. >.>? I automatically have all hate mail directed towards my delete folder. Thanks for the love letter. It's people like you that keep me motivated. :O" lol

What I learned from all of this is that we all need haters. Hell, even haters need haters. LOL If you're going through some funks in life, and have fans that have nothing better to do than make your life miserable. Endure it. Most haters use verbal abuse.. so when they knock you down. Get back up. Piss them off by doing exactly what you've been doing. Keep your head up, and don't let anyone steer you away from your dreams. Chase after them. Do what it takes to get there. Make the sacrifices needed.

Use haters as inspiration. Without inspiration; the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks, and if haters are those sparks, then so be it. :O Remember guys: Lack of inspiration, leads to repetition.